

“My tastes are very singular.”Īnastasia Steele (Dakota Johnson) and telecommunications titan Christian Grey (Jamie Dornan, the serial killer in BBC’s “The Fall”) meet in a sequence straight out of “Valley of the Dolls”: the studiously frumpy Anastasia, subbing for a friend, interviews the Seattle power-broker for her school newspaper. “I don’t do romance,” he warns his latest submissive. But let’s not be coy: the guy’s into whips, chains and handcuffs. Otherwise, what we’ve got here is an old-fashioned, surprisingly timid bodice-ripper about a virginal college student who meets a GQ-dashing billionaire who, thanks to his very own Mrs. So even if bondage isn’t your thing, you might want to submit to a few MP3 downloads. Plus, the soundtrack includes songs by Annie Lennox, Sia, the Rolling Stones, and, for a spot of old-fashioned cheek-to-cheeking, Ol’ Blue Eyes himself warbling “Witchcraft.” Beyoncé’s appropriately sultry end-credits theme is already garnering airplay. Coates (“Lawrence of Arabia”), cinematographer Seamus McGarvey (“Atonement,” “High Fidelity”) and composer Danny Elfman (“Edward Scissorhands,” “American Hustle”) to thank for this. Sure, the thing is full of howlingly idiotic exchanges and the kind of plotting that would strike even Jackie Collins as contrived, and the performances hover somewhere between senior-class play and community theater level but on the plus side this soft-core de Sade tutorial looks and sounds almost classy.

James’s S&M trilogy couldn’t help but exceed most preconceived notions. Our expectations for “50 Shades of Grey” were so low ‒ OK, damn near nonexistent ‒ that the screen adaptation of the first book in E.L.
